It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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