you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn