Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is Oprah even human
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.