i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..