Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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