I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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