my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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