yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Randomize
