If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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