i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
