I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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