I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
