I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
