The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
