What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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