I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
