Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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