Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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