My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
why is half of my head shaved?
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