that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
