did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
