that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
