Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
