It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
