shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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