There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
