standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
