I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
