there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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