Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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