i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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