omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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