Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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