the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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