At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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