whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Maybe he injected his testicle?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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