Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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