is your mom at the bar?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize