I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
