Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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