Your face is a jimmy john
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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