I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
