I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
