I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This gyro tastes like lonliness
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He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
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Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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