Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
