thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
