yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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