shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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