this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize