I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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