How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
