I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
