worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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