Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
