he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize