yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
