Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
