i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize