I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize