Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
