The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
