We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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