I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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