R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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