dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
