Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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